english 101 is not terribly exciting. and i'm finding this next essay difficult, but mostly because it strikes a nerve with me. the prompt for the essay says, 'write an essay in which you describe your ideal job.' and then of course as an exemplification essay it must have examples to follow this. ugh. okay i know now that i need to be an artist. but putting all this into words is kind of painful because i don't have all the words and all the reasons. and when i think about the reasons this is the 'ideal job' (hate that) for me, i have to admit that it's because that's how God made me. and then of course the thought follows, 'well why am i not doing that right now if i know that's how God made me...' ugh. my instructor never knew that this essay would be a soul struggle, did she? and i hope she's not an atheist because i've decided to simply write with abandon and not stop to define all my terms and such. and i'm certainly not going to apologise for talking about God in my essay.
oh Lord. i keep coming back to this: 'two things You told me, that You are strong and You love me.' somehow that keeps me.